Toon In: Your October Horoscopes

By Sharon Isabel Curley


CAPRICORN: Two people get into a car. One drives, the other is the passenger in shotgun. Twenty minutes later, the two exit the car, and one says to the other, “The leaves on the trees were so beautiful, weren’t they?” To which the other person says, “I didn’t notice.” Sometimes I may be the leaf admirer, myself, and if I drive with the didn’t notice-er, I’d be utterly frustrated. Why is it that we get so frustrated over things other people do or say? Well, the Capricorn answer is most likely that everyone else is stupid but you. Well, what if instead of feeling that ultimate kink in your neck tighten up, you took a shit and asked the didn’t notice-er what they did notice? Maybe they saw something you’d wished you’d seen instead of the obvious observation of your beautiful little leaves? Take for example, if I was your passenger. I’d say, “Today, I am the Knight Of Swords. Where is my helmet?”


AQUARIUS: I’ve had trouble writing the astrology section this Libra season. It’s as if I am blocked in my brain, transitioning from a long, hard summer to a hopeful autumn. It’s been a summer of meeting boring people and feeling exhausted. I miss intelligent conversations and having fun. I am so sick of getting a drink with some stranger, and then feeling like I became stupider. I miss exploring, traveling, day trips, fixing things, building things, breaking things. This summer was entirely unfulfilling for me. I am so glad to move into the cooler weather, ditching the bad and only letting the good in from now on. Even the last time I met someone new who I had things in common with turned into a sort of a let down. This person wasn’t impressed with my original and epic tactics. As the Libra season comes and goes, we Aquarians should allow for what’s come to weigh us down to go drown in a dirty river. Our new motto shall be no less than: “Delightfully Strangeways, Here We Come!”


PISCES: it is believed that evidence of Amelia Earhart and Fred Noon was found on the island of Nikumaroro in 1940. It is said that there were bones, including a human skull that would suit the dimensions and age of Amelia. Also found were some plane pieces, and a bottle of liqueur. When the bones were first found, they were thought to belong to a man. They’ve since disappeared, having seemingly not much importance in that regard. I wonder if Amelia Earhart’s number one “desert island dude” would have been Fred Noonan? I wonder if they did “it”? I wonder if Amelia and Fred considered this as an option before leaving for their journey? Did they pack their other desert island things, like their favorite album and favorite meal? Do you know what your desert island list would be, Pisces? Do you have it prepared? I suggest you keep it in mind over the coming weeks. I sense you are going to feel like you’re trapped, and you ought to have the things you know you like trapped with you.


ARIES: You should always remember the Galaxie 500 version of New Order’s “Ceremony”. When you’re down or feeling incomplete, or like you can’t get where you want to go – well, you put on a song that wasn’t made by the artist in many ways, but which they made possibly better than the real thing. I am in a constant state of insecurity, feeling like I am not doing good enough, but I’m also on that ego trip feelin’ like nobody is cool enough to be in my space. I wear quite a facade of confidence, but I wear it well (I think?), and like that Galaxie 500 version of “Ceremony,” I like to lead people into believing I am better than the real thing. Aries, if you are feeling not all there, go ahead and pretend. Pretending is practice and practice makes perfect.


TAURUS: The end of September marked, for me, one full year living in the same house. It’s been a pretty long time since I’ve lived somewhere for more than a few months. Nomadic by nature, and feeling more stable in my heart, I already am leaning toward a move back to my beloved West Philadelphia, where all of my finest memories have been made. I’d like to make more fine memories, but it’s possible that since departing West Philly in 2010, I’ve not a memory worth remembering. The redundancy of life has circled through various bouts of lack-of-everything. Well, maybe with the exception of disappointment. A sort of luck that hits levels of promising before disappearing completely. Changes are coming your way, Taurus, and it’s up to you to decide whether these changes will be worth making a memory to remember.


GEMINI: I spent a spell of my life going through a hardship that involved change and pure weightlessness. The weightlessness was an emptiness that I couldn’t fill. It was both beautiful and painful, but what isn’t? I tried out some personal experiments with strangers. Stemming from my fantasy of laying on the floor in the produce section of my local grocery store, or walking around Whole Foods blinking really slowly, I decided to hit up DiBruno Brothers in Rittenhouse and test something new. I walked up to the cold drink section. I looked longingly at the coffee cola, wishing I liked it enough to drink it. I looked at the Kombucha with a similar attitude. Then I closed my eyes, and I let myself feel the weight. Oh, boy was it heavy. My lips trembled, and as I opened my eyes, tears dripped down my frowning face. I looked at the woman next to me; my elder and quite lovely. She looked at me, and I just let it all out. I mean, I was sobbing. She gave me a smile and then she hugged me. I hugged her back. She pulled away moments later and looked in my eyes. We said nothing. I wiped my tears, and as the onlookers’ eyes were falling from their sockets, I straightened my posture and walked out the door. There’s nothing more a Gemini wants than attention from the wrong people. A true phenomenon. Why don’t you go create your fantasies elsewhere, or with the ones who fulfill you? Don’t end up crying for the wrong reasons on the wrong person’s shoulder, dummy.


CANCER: A recipe for heartache: “Sometimes I hear that song, and I’ll start to sing along and think, man, I’d love to see that girl again.” This is a forward, a quote to promote a book called, “My heart is an Idiot”. A friend recently offered this book to me as some kind of thing I’d be into, within 24 hours of also giving me a great pair of red shorts, some pretty cool earrings, and a jacket. This quote stuck with me. I looked it up. It’s lyrics from a god damn Kid Rock song. Well, who am I to judge? It is true that now every time I hear Kid Rock, I will think of this certain friend. Not quite the association I’d associated with him before. Anyway, this is a beautiful book. These essays by Davy Rothbart are relevant to the man who loves too much and the one who has never loved at all. I say this, coming from some dude who was inspired by Kid Rock. Cancer, the lesson to learn here is – don’t judge a book by its cover, judge it by the friend who gave it to you.


LEO: The not-at-all complicated life I live these days makes way for my current favorite things: a block of pepper jack cheese, POV log flume ride videos, and accepting a slow and lonely death – yet welcoming it all the same. Perhaps the fate and reasoning for the welcoming is the fantasy of me eating a block of pepperjack cheese on a log flume (real life POV) and falling there to my death, with a splash. My ghost would fly to the clouds, while “Surfin’ Bird” by The Ramones played on thousands of Walkmans with wings, flying alongside me. Like puffs from the magic dragon, the clouds would bounce me higher and higher in the sky. I’d end up in Super Mario’s Giant Land, also known as the fourth world, where’s I’d smash my head into blocks for mushrooms. Then my body would blink and get bigger, and I’d soar over Audrey II, and Rick Moranis would be there, and he would say, “Yes, have some.” The one thing I will always have is my imagination. Leo, if this itty bitty ditty didn’t inspire you to jet to your soul and pour out our dreams, then find something that will. The Girl From Ipanema awaits you.


VIRGO: Jasper the cat lives in West Philadelphia. He is a big white fluffy cat with one green eye and one blue eye. I believe he is a Virgo, like you. The first time I met Jasper, I was overwhelmed with joy. I cried and laughed at the same time. I’ve since spent hours with Jasper, and I have yet to feel any less love for him. He’s a real magical dream. Take this as a lesson for yourself. We can all have this effect on people if we want to, we often just choose otherwise. Virgo, look at yourself in the mirror. See what you want to see in yourself. Now go out and express just that to the world around you!


LIBRA: You, Libra, you’re like Easter Island. Never once will you be Stonehenge. Not without trying. You gotta try to be the one you want to be. Otherwise, you’re the joke of the ‘scopes. The moai were sculpted by the Rapa Nui people. This is common knowledge. Stonehenge, however, represents pure mystery. From how the stones got there, to how they were raised and placed in such manner, to who or what created this monument. What’s the use of being useless? Create for yourself a deeper meaning; one that is exclusive to you. When someone expresses themselves from their heart, the passion is noticed. When someone else repeats that expression, the passion is lost. Floating along the surface is a safe place. Who knows what’s deeper, and rising above could lead to crashing back down. Risks must be taken, and fear must be faced. Choose your own adventure, or live as Harvey Danger sang, “If you’re bored then you’re boring.”


SCORPIO: My recent recurring dreams consist of car trouble in the same neighborhood that I’ve never been to, and running around that neighborhood trying to find the same person who keeps visiting me in my dreams. The person who visits me in my dreams is someone who doesn’t visit me in my waking life. I wish they did. Anyway, can deja vu occur in a dream? Because every time I have visited this neighborhood in my dreams, since the first time, I get a feeling that would represent deja vu. Pretty meta. What sort of levels would this represent in your consciousness? Are you feeling like you are sinking deeper and deeper into yourself? I suggest you keep going. Wander and wonder through the depths of you. Get to know yourself a little more. As Rilke sort of said – you are the dream you are dreaming.


SAGITTARIUS: The Sentinelese people of the North Sentinel Island are a brutal tribe who want no contact with the outside world. Although attempts have been made, and some true encounters, it has been since 2006, when the Sentinelese people killed two fishermen when they came too close to the island. The Indian government did not seek prosecution, and there has been no contact between the Sentinelese and the rest of the world since this incident. I wish I was still with my tribe, away from the rest of the world. In a place with my friends, where nothing else mattered, and I didn’t want anything to disrupt us. Perhaps you can relate? Are you feeling like something is going too comfortably for you, and you fear ruckus shaking it up? This you should be prepared for. Keep a guard up like the Sentinelese, and don’t follow my lead of holding on too tight.



Sharon Isabel Curley is a passionate creator of all things. As an artist, she enjoys painting, drawing, sewing, creating and styling costumes, and writing (fiction, non-fiction, astrology, and poetry). She wrote and believes that “kinship is the only ship to sail into affinity.” If you ever meet her, she will love you.