Toon In: Your August Horoscopes

By Sharon Isabel Curley



CAPRICORN : In some strange mix up, last month’s Capricorn horoscope was printed in the Secret Admirer as the previous month’s horoscope. A repeat! The correct ‘scope did make it into Title Mag, so if you need to go back in time, visit me over there. It was a funny one to repeat, since it was about me getting back to you when I understood you more. I also spoke of this hat a dude I was into gave me that says “Capricorn” on it. I assumed if I wore it, it may help the understanding. Problem is, it’s a corduroy hat and it became too hot to wear. Alas, Cappy, I got you. You are currently in the process of a major life change. You’re scared, and you’re unsure, but you’re excited, too. Rest easy, my friend, weigh in on that excitement you’ve got before your whole life is flipped on a practicality that you may not even believe in.


AQUARIUS: July 20, 2018 was an evening that had me in bed by 8pm. I missed two music shows this particular evening. One being Dead Prez, the other was Faust. I didn’t even know either were happening previously to the Instagram photos I saw the following morning. I’ve been ungodly stressed with work, not feeling fulfilled with my skills, and therefore, unmotivated outside of work, not making art. I want to change this style I’ve sadly started fashioning, but summer got me way down again. The sun is always shining, and I can’t keep up with it. I need to make a change, and I need to get my shit up again. So, I have decided to make a crazy new art exhibition. It requires 4 car tires, and lots of cardboard, and a few dry days. I can’t stop being me, and only I can be the me I want to be. So, if something’s got you down, find something to get you up!


PISCES: I was recently reminded of a time in my life when I had a bag of red balloons and a bag of Peanut Chews. When I’d be invited to hang with a friend, I’d stick a Chew in the balloon, blow it up, and give it as a gift. As if the joy in receiving the balloon weren’t enough, the friend would get to pop the balloon and get the prized Chew inside. I do things like this for so many people in my life. There are certainly gifts from me and memories of gifts from me a-plenty out there. I was recently inspired by the likes of someone to spend time showering him with thoughtful little treasures I’d made. The outcome was not what I’d wished, for not everyone wants to be treated so nicely – or maybe they don’t think they deserve it. Whatever it is, I still aspire to continue the gifts with him and everyone else who inspires me. Pisces, thoughtful you, perhaps it’s time to revisit your gift giving ways.


ARIES: I recently wondered the difference between amusement parks and theme parks, assuming the “theme” to be “amusement”. Although this is not entirely wrong, they aren’t quite defined as such. The Amusement Park is a place of rides and games and other stuff made purely for entertainment. In the Theme Park, there truly is a theme- Disney World, Dutch Wonderland, etc. Although Disney World is visited more than any other theme park in the world, doesn’t it take something away from those who are older or not fans of Disney? The ride may be the best, but the theme may be boring. I base a lot of my opinions in aesthetics. Which is to say, I don’t much care for Disney, but if it were a theme park dedicated to teeth brushing, I may find that cooler. Don’t just go around being amused by themes drawn out for you, make your own Aries. You’ve got thoughts, don’t you?


TAURUS: The largest cashew tree in the world is located in Brazil. It covers some 81,000 sq. feet. I’d like to see this tree one day, as I’ve a real affinity for big trees. A common misconception of the cashew is that it is a nut, when really it is a seed. It grows from a part of the blossom called the “cashew apple” or “cashew fruit”. I’d like to try this fruit as well. Attached to the bottom of this cashew fruit is a small shell in which the cashew seed is grown. I do love a cashew. I once read that eating a handful of cashews a day would help keep the blues away. I began eating cashews every day after reading that, but I forgot to take note of the daily or overall outcome. The phrase “you learn something new every day” applied to my discovery of all these great facts of this tasty seed. I urge you to take the time this August to try something new that may benefit you and remember to take notes for the outcome.


GEMINI:  In July, 2015, The Spirit of the Riverwards (RIP, the birthplace of my astrology column), posted a picture of graffiti artist Spain’s work painted over the Shepard Fairey mural that was on the side of the Rocketcat building. I once worked an art show for Shepard Fairey in the 90’s. I thought he was cool then, but I’ve since lost the interest. Spain, however, is maybe my all time favorite graffiti artist. There’s a Spain piece on Washington Ave, on south side of the street, close to 16th, and the way the “a” travels into the “i” is so rad. Sometimes, I want to meet Spain, but I fear the potential tragedy of a let down of a human, as some artists tend to be. Alas, a Curley dream dude (hopefully he’s got long hair and maybe skates, too…), because nothing so perfect should ever stop existing and should be mine. Gemini, this sort of fantastical dreaming isn’t your forte, but if you tried it, you could gain some good shit. Maybe instead of making up your perfect dream boy or girl, just dream up your perfect self and then decide how much you want someone to recognize the parts about you that you want to be recognized, and then you gotta let someone do just that for you.


CANCER: In 1998, I went to the McDade Mall movie theater with my since-deceased boyfriend to see “What Dreams May Come”. A Robin Williams box office failure, watched in the most uncomfortable, trashiest theater around. Well, I cried. There was a scene in which the atmosphere went from reality to paint. 18-year-old me thought it was so beautiful. Could you imagine if this happened to a sign like you, Cancer? I bet you wouldn’t bat an eye. You’d most likely find the paint lake and jump right in, swimming and splashing, and swirling the colors all around. The Cancer is like a breath of fresh air in this regard. Always up for a creative process. Although I don’t imagine we will have the pure luck of a world of paint in this lifetime, I would suggest you pretend we do. Go on swimming around in that paint and lead the way for the rest of us!


LEO: The sensitive Leo has been torn between feelings before, as we all have. Yet, the Leo tries to find the strength to make the right decisions, and yet also feels a kinship with failure. Decision making isn’t the easiest when it comes to matters of the heart, and I get a sense that you are about to embark on a journey that could break your heart, while fulfilling it all the while. Well, I pulled a tarot for you, Leo. The card I pulled is “The Magician”. Here it is suggested that you can plan to benefit from your creative awareness and the new path you may be ready to take within this. However, you need to choose what the creativity entails here. Seeing as I’ve the sense you’re going with matters of the heart – a break up, going to the next phase in the relationship, or what-have-you, I suggest you weigh in your creativity here. Paint a picture for yourself, for what this journey should entail, and ride that wave to the shore.


VIRGO:  Over the past few weeks, sleep has been the only thing I want to do. I’ve been going to bed early and getting up at the very last minute. I’ve been getting into my bed right after work and laying there until I fall asleep. I am too tired to read. I am too tired to watch short little educational videos on lethal injection or people staying awake during surgery, or the computer-generated Wedding Cake ride from the 80’s that I will never get to ride. Barely a thought at all, as if I need not to think, but to sleep instead. During the sleeps there are nightmares of murders and fear. Maybe it’s best to try and stay awake, but this fatigue is no joke. Virgo, you may love this blasted summer heat, but if it’s got you down, give in to it. Take a few naps and try again when you wake up.


LIBRA: Sometimes my Libra mother is so overly opinionated about the dumbest shit. When times like this occur, she also assumes I’ll agree with her. I rarely do, and I rather try to encourage another opinion – not even always quite the opposite, perhaps just another angle on her opinion. Her old neighbor was arrested for trying to hook up with what he thought was an underage girl but was actually a police officer. He was arrested and left behind a devastated wife. This couple were my parent’s friends, until mum decided to make some opinion about the poor wife, who just lost her husband to jail in such a humiliating way. I told my mum, as a Christian woman, she ought to comfort the wife. She should make her a meal and ask if she is okay. I told her to imagine the shock if this had gone down with my dad. She immediately took note of this, and she carried on as I suggested. She said it made her feel better, and also gave the wife a friend to find comfort in. Libra, sometimes opinions develop a sense of selfishness. And sometimes the act of kindness you choose becomes selfish, too, for you did it for yourself. Try to relax a little and think only about those around you first. Maybe they need it more than you know.


SCORPIO: Trepanning is a process of drilling a hole into one’s skull in order to increase “brain blood volume”. It is believed by some, that once the skull completely closes (between ages 18 + 21), the blood no longer has the ability to pulse, nor does the brain. Without such abilities, we humans resort to ways of getting high in order to feel such pulsations, and in order to therefore achieve higher levels of creativity, for example. For a period of time, I was watching videos and reading articles on how to make DMT and what its effects are like. I really wanted to make it and do it and be truly alone for once. It’s this sort of urge for more that I know the Gemini to suffer from. I feel you, it’s why I let myself disappear during an orgasm, it’s why I don’t disagree with recreational drug use or the drunk fun of alcohol, and it’s why I live my life as a dream. What if you had to live with what you had, and you knew nothing more would ever come? You’d have to choose from what is there already in order to progress. It seems like a huge commitment, but perhaps it’s worth a try. For the next month, I’d like for you to make the most of the means you’ve got. Nothing more or new is coming your way this August, buddy. Not unless you create it with what you have.


SAGITTARIUS:  What is known as a “white lie” is a lie, still, in which one tells a false excuse as to not hurt another person’s feelings. If you ask me, a lie is a lie is a lie. The problem of the white lie is that the person being told the white lie is probably already hurt, hence the liar telling the white lie, as to make things feel not as bad as they could. But, what if the truth were just told? Suspicious as you are, Sagittarius, you don’t even believe the truth sometimes. You’re in what you think is a state of being lied to. However, the Sag isn’t so pure when it comes to their own ways of communicating. Take on this new style of honesty: for at least a day, if not a whole week, I suggest you go ahead and believe everything you hear.




Sharon Isabel Curley is a passionate creator of all things. As an artist, she enjoys painting, drawing, sewing, creating and styling costumes, and writing (fiction, non-fiction, astrology, and poetry). She wrote and believes that “kinship is the only ship to sail into affinity.” If you ever meet her, she will love you.