Toon In: Your December Horoscopes

By Sharon Isabel Curley


CAPRICORN: As Sagittarius season ends, you are most likely prepared for Capricorn season inching its way in. You are a mysterious type, but I know that there is a sense of selfishness in you that cannot wait to be celebrated. The “secret” confidence of the Capricorn doesn’t fool me. You say things held in the darkness: magic, mystery, and ancient knowledge. The Capricorn holds a depth beyond keeping hold of for any others of us in this Zodiac. The Sagittarius season is a time for being optimistic and for finding ways to express this. Perhaps for you, a sort of time travel could suffice? Look into your future, coming from the deep, dark depths of your past, and make way for the Capricorn season to hold the creations it will bring, one single step at a time.


AQUARIUS: I once got a fortune that read exactly: “Silence is a virtual. Especially Dinner time, from telemarketers.” These words and their strange use of upper and lower case letters keep me thinking of this, nearly 2 years later. I wonder who wrote it, and if they thought it was funny. Is it poorly translated? I often tell others about it, or show them the photo I took of it, and I seem to be the most amused. Maybe I share the amusement only with the person who wrote it? It’s our little enjoyment, whoever we are to each other, which is otherwise nothing at all. Aquarians are loyal people, who can hold onto secrets for a long time, as if it’s our job. We tend to take pride in knowing something no one else does. I urge you to find something in you that you’ve been holding back sharing and open it to someone else. See if they share in your secret amusement. If they don’t, maybe it’s time to let them go.


PISCES: There is something precious about falling asleep in someone’s arms. It’s dark and still, and it’s likely you want them there. For me, it’s all good until the morning comes. When the morning comes, I want nothing to do with a person in my bed, and there’s nothing less interesting than waking up in someone else’s bed. How does a mood change so easily? Do the love gods develop in me throughout the day, and the personal space demons haunt me while I sleep? Whatever it is, Pisces, I know you can relate. As this year comes to an end, it is time to learn to take control of your mood swings. Don’t let things live and grow in you without your nourishment to lead the way. Go into the new year with a certain dignity.


ARIES: A fellow Aries recently told me that bath time is his thinking time. He said he feels like Archimedes. For me, bath time is ridden with anxiety, just wondering when the right time to get out is. I think about it as if it should be relaxing, but already, as the water is running to fill the tub, I often switch to a shower. For me, thinking time is during long walks. I used to do so much walking. Urban hikes, I’d call them. I’d walk highways, train tracks, and city streets for hours on end. This was my thinking place, and I’d like to bring more thoughtful walks into my life this chilly season. Whatever it is for you, Aries, I suggest you find your special thinking place, and I suggest you find the stillness to really do some thinking. Do not be bothered or distracted. As Archimedes’ last words were, “Noli turbare circulos meos” (Do not disturb my circles).


TAURUS: I recently read up on Eisenhower’s multiple extraterrestrial contacts. Despite him apparently following tradition of other United States Presidents, he had a way about him that seemed to qualify as more human to his audience. Was he more human, though, or more of something out of this world? In February 1955, hundreds of witnesses gathered and watched as Air Force One landed at Holloman Air Force Base, apparently surrounded by other unidentified flying objects. Of the witnesses, many claim to have seen the President entering a saucer for nearly an hour, and shaking hands with a being upon exiting. You know, they didn’t come up with “I like Ike” all for naught. Taurus, whatever it is that’s got your mysterious ways keeping people intrigued, I say collect them all and be ready to sway us all this way and that way, come the new year.


GEMINI: In the dawn, my eyes opened slowly. I was on a plane. The light was so yellow. I was there, but you no longer were. My body was tired. Yours was decomposing. My hair smelled funny. It was mourning time for me. I’ve rather uncomfortably learned that life goes on for some, and immediately, tragically, or awfully ends for others. I’ve always had this thought of the morning coffee. It’s this theory I have, that no matter who is in the home and awake when you are preparing coffee, be sure to prepare for them as well. It starts the day with a sort of hidden kindness and connection. As you both escape from the wild world of dreaming and into the stark reality that is this world, sipping those mugs full of caffeine together will have you opening your eyes at the same time. I call this “hidden,” for its strength is often unnoticed if not even ignored. Try this in the coming weeks, Gemini, or you will forever remember the feeling of that person softly, accidentally, brushing against you as they passed by you to pour their own cup, and you will forever regret not pouring it for them.


CANCER: Take heed, Cancer, and take from this what you will and as you wish. A letter from one to another, written in a time of distress, making light with its narrative of fantasies and poetry: “Dear Pooboy, As another hard time sets in, rather it’s found a restful place already, I find myself romanticizing everything I do not have. I miss the brutality of a true opinion on my poor choices. Depression in older age is hard to romanticize. The weight is a truly physical feeling, coupled with real physical pain. The sadness has less hope in recovering, for the broader knowledge knows it will come again, possibly harder. I’m not pushed to write or make art. I’m allowed to spend days laying in bed atop a blanket too warm for comfort, studying the creases in the walls, but unable to later describe them. Floating in space is scarier now because with age comes fear. I often imagine a heart attack brought on by my own weakness. I’m far from things that I love. I’m far from my teachers, like you & water. Time moves on without me. I try to make peace with the stillness, but it challenges me. It makes me worry to fight it & move forward. If I could be anywhere right now, it would be with you. I know you’ll forever understand me. You will forever love me. It’s here I go for the finest comfort I can find. I miss you terribly. As Always, Toothbrush”.


LEO: Sadness is as heavy as the weight of your lover’s eyes; time seems to stand still as every blink becomes slower and slower. It’s those moments, like standing in the shower, swearing you can feel every drop of water individually hit you. Your feelings are just that coherent sometimes. If you keep such sentiments buried somewhere in you, this place will carry them along, as you find yourself speeding up. Your walk becomes a skip, your brain becomes your heart, and the days are passing by in ways like its only ever the weekend. Emotionally driven, seeing into each object as if it’s your own personal crystal ball, Leo needs their own personal push sometimes. Here’s to you finding your way into the new year, emotionally challenged, but in a good way!


VIRGO: The saying, “It doesn’t hurt to ask” is potentially one of the most absurd things I choose to say. I have come up with intense, massive amounts of courage; I have had to gain loads of confidence and love for myself before asking a question. When the response is sometimes no, that rejection has hurt me beyond belief. Maybe it’s the asking that doesn’t hurt, but the response that can cause so much pain. And isn’t the answer simply a result of asking? Isn’t it part of the process? What about “don’t ask, don’t tell”? At least then the unknowing is agonizing in itself, yet still, a mystery, while the actual answer could break your little heart. For you, Virgo, there’s a saying I’d like you to hold dear in the coming weeks, and it’s this: “Be careful what you ask for.”


LIBRA: In the Jane’s Addiction song, “Jane Says”, Perry Farrell sings, “I want them if they want me, I only know they want me”. It is a sad song in general. In the song, Jane says, “I’ve never been in love, I don’t know what it is.” The Libra, in my experience, is somewhat emotionally stunted, suffering from emotional intellect. From my own mother to my dearest friends, in any time of severe agony, I’ve reached out to Libra’s who’ve offered very little to say. Libras hide their true feelings unless they want something, then it won’t matter how it will make anyone else feel, they will express until expressing is dead. Libra, end this year ready for the next. Try learning true love within yourself and then learning how to express and give such a love. The extraordinary nurturer in you is desperately craving it.


SCORPIO: Born on December 21, Frank Zappa died in Scorpio season on December 4th, 1993. My father is the equivalent of a “Dead Head” for Zappa. I do remember when I was 22 I brought my then-Scorpio-boyfriend to meet my parents. My father had already heard the boyfriend’s music (RIP that old low-fi Dr. Dog 4 track sound!), but rather than commenting or complimenting, he just said, “Sharon tells me you play music.” Then boyfriend agreed that he did, in fact, play music. My dad asked if he liked Frank Zappa, and then-boyfriend slowly and confused answered, “uh… yeah, I do. What I know of him.” My father then threw down a 300 (maybe more) CD book filled with Zappa CDs, bootlegs, etc. As then-boyfriend flipped through the pages, he could barely find words to say. So in his slightly under the breath, almost disinterested, yet fascinated little voice, he just said, “Oh, cool.” Scorpio, you don’t need to be impressed with other people’s interests. No need to act the part either. I say, in celebrating the death and life of Zappa himself, RIP to those ways of yours, and enter this Sagittarius season being you and only you, and rebirth for the birth of the king, Frank Zappa.


SAGITTARIUS: According to an article written about haptic communication on Wikipedia, “Depression has been linked to touch deprivation in adults and research has established associations between touch deprivation and eating disorders.” One thing I am often without is human touch, and one thing I often crave is human touch. Yet, my personal space has become so valuable to me, it is really hard to even hug people anymore. In the past year and a half, I can only remember even wanting to hug one new person in my life (and touch, but I never made it there…). I do certainly suffer from both depression and eating disorders, and I wonder with the lack of and certain craving for, why I will not accept human touch. Is it because I once gave it so freely, and so now I feel as though one should earn touching this precious body I call my own? Sag, if you are a toucher or a want to be touched-er, I suggest you find your way of it and don’t follow my lead. Whereas I am just scared because I don’t trust anyone, you pose as someone to fear.



Sharon Isabel Curley is a passionate creator of all things. As an artist, she enjoys painting, drawing, sewing, creating and styling costumes, and writing (fiction, non-fiction, astrology, and poetry). She wrote and believes that “kinship is the only ship to sail into affinity.” If you ever meet her, she will love you.